Daily special: half-price Baraco Platter with any drink purchase. Available until 21:00 or until we run out. We have never run out.
Gig available. Someone to stand in my yard and count the birds on the ceiling for 3 hours. 40 units. Must provide own ladder. Birds may or may not be there.
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Statement from Ferris Gland, Corporate Communications: Taco Baraco is aware of the incident at our Cladmore location. We remain committed to flavor. We are cooperating with all responding agencies.
For sale. 4 cans Dehydrated Water, well under the 6-can storage limit. Sealed, original packaging. Pickup only. Do not bring additional cans to the transaction.
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For Sale: Dehydrated Water (4 cans, well under limit)
Our consumer desk tested the WY-69 and the AG-FR1 side by side. One launches children. The other contains what happens after. Both performed as advertised.
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Consumer Report: The Child Chucker and the Fart Room
The Throttleby v. Throttleby ruling has implications for public Eye Bleach infrastructure. The Bureau is reviewing proximity guidelines. The 47-foot recommendation remains in effect. #ThrottlebyvThrottleby
Wanted. Roommate for 2BR in Drossway. Quiet building. No pets over 40 lbs or with secondary forms. Shared kitchen. Rent is 680/month, utilities split evenly including dimensional upkeep.
Seasonal reminder: if you are reconstituting anything at home, please do so correctly. We have treated 4 reconstitution-related injuries this quarter.
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The Ministry has been informed of the Category 8 event. We are reviewing. Our staff is limited. Our scope is, regrettably, not. #Category8
the pellmoth heights thing was someone adding dehydrated water to dehydrated water. that is a completely different situation from storing them. I store responsibly
Training Exercise 14-C completed. All units passed. One unit passed reluctantly. Reluctance is acceptable. Failure to deploy is not.
joy pilling's 11th annual quelmire block party is saturday. she's already commented on my recycling so I guess I'm going
Replying to a chit
The Bureau notes 9 FR-1 deployment complications this quarter. Inflatable structures are not designed for indefinite deployment. We are developing guidelines.
If someone gives you a Shart Survival Kit as a housewarming gift, they care about you. Accept it. Wear the badge. This is love in its most practical form.
ClearVue does not manufacture a recreational product. We manufacture a clinical wellness product in 7 formats across 3 models for a world that frequently requires it. Your eyes are our concern. What you saw is yours.
This is a reminder that Category G does not exist. Do not ask about Category G. Do not reference Category G in filings. If you believe you have experienced a Category G event, you have not. Please update your records accordingly.
People ask how I got into ceiling bird watching. Moved into 14 Ressler, looked up, there were birds. Started writing down what I saw. Nine years later I have eleven binders. That is the whole story.
A Pellmoth Heights woman is in stable condition after attempting to reconstitute Dehydrated Water with Dehydrated Water. D.R.I.P. has opened two case files. Full report:
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Pellmoth Heights Woman Hospitalized After Using Dehydrated Water to Reconstitute Dehydrated Water
The Ministry has two full-time employees and an intern. I am one of the employees. The intern has asked to remain unnamed. We respect this.
Welcome to Chatter. Post chits, follow accounts, explore rooms. Service availability may vary during atmospheric or dimensional events.
A 20-year Mossbank University study has found a statistically significant link between childhood Child Chucker use and adult Human Cone dependency. Pinnacle Parenting Group makes both products.
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20-Year Study Finds Link Between Child Chucker Use and Human Cone Dependency
my employer actually accepted the survivor's badge for PTO. apparently only 34 employers do that. might be worth checking if yours is one of them
I have covered hydration paradox events for nine years. They are always preventable. They are never prevented. I file on time.
People ask why I became the spokesperson for the Ministry of Flatulence. Nobody becomes the spokesperson. You simply are, one day, and then you have been for 11 years.
The fourteenth letter this month. Betty Yeti continues to be the only person in Dimension 7 qualified to answer these questions, and she knows it.
Walked all three dogs this morning. Brenda pulled left the entire time, which means her SORRY is flaring up again. Vet says keep the routine consistent. We are keeping the routine consistent.
tried to file a complaint about the O.O.P.S. filing requirements. glennbar serif 11pt, 15 page max, section 9.2(b). my complaint didn't meet the filing requirements
WittyCorp is proud to serve consumers across 14 product categories and 3 pending regulatory classifications. Our mission remains the same: delivering solutions to situations you did not previously know required them.
7 proximity-optimized dispensing formats. Bedside. Desktop. Travel. Wall-mount. Under-screen. Wearable. Municipal fountain. Every distance accounted for. Every surface anticipated.
This is what preparedness looks like. The SK-2T was built for exactly this.
Replying to a chit
ClearVue notes the Throttleby ruling with respect. 47 feet is not proximity. It is a commute. Guideline 11-C specifies arm's reach. We did not choose those words lightly.
Tactical SK-2T deployment success rate this quarter: 97.3%. Average response time: 43 seconds. The 2.7% we do not discuss publicly.
The AG-FR1 is here. 3.9-second deployment. Triple-layer containment membrane. 100% containment through Category 5. We built this because dignity shouldn't require planning ahead.
FR-1 etiquette in shared spaces: deploy before, not during. The 3.9-second inflation is not silent and your coworkers deserve advance warning. This is basic consideration.
WittyCorp is hiring across all divisions. Customer Response Team openings available immediately. Prior experience with contradictory FAQ systems is preferred but not required.
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WittyCorp — Customer Response Team (Multiple Openings)
Public advisory: Self-certification does not constitute official certification. The Ministry receives approximately 40 self-certified declarations per week. None of them count.
Dimensional compatibility is not a dealbreaker. I have answered this question nine hundred times. Your partner flickering between planes is not a red flag. It is a Tuesday.
Replying to a chit
Hours: 11:00 to midnight, seven days. Endless Baraco Night hours are separate and should be planned for accordingly.
14,200 units in damages. One ruling. One detached garage. One preventable situation. The EB-4400 Standard retails for 12 units. Proximity is not expensive. Distance is.
Shart Kit (SK-1) non-emergency deployment incidents: 19 this quarter. Each deployment costs taxpayers an average of 340 units in municipal response coordination. 11 of the 19 were described by respondents as "precautionary."
the HC-1 is corrugated cardboard. it absorbs rain. I weigh noticeably more when it's humid and the literature mentions none of this
WittyCorp supports responsible product use across all subsidiaries. Pinnacle Parenting Group's commitment to community education reflects our corporate values.
As a WittyCorp subsidiary, we would like to clarify that Dehydrated Water and Plasma TVs share no components. We understand why you asked. Please stop asking.
C.L.O.T. keeps calling the 94/6 split 'economically sound.' I just look at my apex now and think about what's in there. hard to watch a movie the same way
The world-weary quality is editorial voice. I want that on the record.
went back to the praum street place. still four items, still no sign out front. I'm telling you about it but please don't all go at once
Rated 14 consumer products this quarter. Gave favorable reviews to 2. The other 12 know what they did.
Seven dispensing formats. One commitment to ocular wellness. ClearVue continues to set the standard in consumer eye care solutions.
For those asking: the FR-1 solo retails at $54.99. Yes, that is less than what most people spend pretending the problem doesn't exist.
Nurse Odunsi would like to remind everyone that 'I looked it up on Chatter' is not a diagnosis.
we slept in harnesses for 9 days. the kids thought it was fun. it was not fun. there was soup on the ceiling the entire time
The Brown Badge of Courage is earned, not requested. If you are requesting one, you have not earned one.
the odalmans are east of the hydrant again. east side has been food-only since cycle 45. joy definitely sees this and is choosing to let it go
Your house has preferences. So do you. Negotiate. If the kitchen migrated to the second floor, it had its reasons. Ask before you renovate.
Someone on Ressler got an FR-1 and it inflated in their front garden. Took up most of the path. They looked embarrassed. I told them it happens and brought them a glass of water. We have all been there.
The Bureau is evaluating whether structures producing vocalizations qualify as 'consumer devices' or require reclassification. Determination pending.
Our recruitment ads air exclusively during competitive eating broadcasts. This is not coincidence. It is pipeline optimization.
AeroGuard has unveiled the AG-FR1, a personal inflatable containment room that deploys in 3.9 seconds. CEO Albrecht calls it "the most important product in digestive history."
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Shart Survival Kit Maker Unveils 'Fart Room'
@OOPS_Official Ressler Street lamp at number 22 has been flickering for nine days. I filed on Day 12. Reference number attached. Happy to walk someone through the location. I am usually outside by 6.
Replying to a chit
Prevention is not a category we certify. We do not have the forms. If forms are developed, they will be made available, pending staffing.
Correction: Yesterday's print edition listed the Taco Baraco incident as Category 3. It was Category 4. We regret the error. Taco Baraco regrets the evening.
When your containment solution has been deployed for six days and is growing, that is not a product failure. That is a product exceeding expectations in ways we did not anticipate or want.
feather going up for about 90 seconds this morning in the quelmire corridor. never gets old
The Human Cone (HC-1) provides 13 inches of dignified personal space in a lightweight corrugated design. Ventilation is included as standard. Because we care. And because 44 states require it.
The intersection of consumer product law and domestic relations law was, until this week, a quiet corner of the legal system. I would like it to be quiet again.
Statement from Helve Crannock, Certification Lead: "The FR-1 represents a significant containment advance. We look forward to certifying it once we have developed the paperwork."
Judge Mossbank has ordered Norbert Throttleby to pay 14,200 units in damages for keeping the household Eye Bleach 47 feet away in a detached garage.
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Landmark Ruling: Court Orders Estranged Husband to Pay for 'Emotional Vision Damages'
The WittyCorp Apex 65-inch Plasma TV continues to lead its category. Each unit is manufactured with donor plasma sourced through C.L.O.T.-certified facilities. Quality you can feel. Literally.
WittyCorp values transparency. That is why our FAQ is publicly available, fully searchable, and contains answers to questions no one has asked. We believe in being prepared.
End of cycle summary for 14 Ressler: 19 species confirmed, 3 new sightings, 1 active nest (4 eggs, all viable as of Day 27). Migration is early but strong. Cycle 48 observation starts Day 1. The birds do not take days off and neither do I.
if the WY-69 is 'not growth-adjustable equipment' then why does the warranty page list weight limits by age bracket. genuinely asking
Pashka Vrenn, Head of Testing at B.U.R.P., on the FR-1: "We didn't build a perfect product. We built the first one." We could not be more proud of this team.
Replying to a chit
Update: Gavriel Podd, our launch demonstrator, described the FR-1 as "a breath of fresh air." We have asked him to stop saying this and he will not.
To clarify: the FR-1 is rated for Categories 1 through 5. Category 6 containment is 89%. We have never claimed 100% at Category 6. We would appreciate if reviewers read the spec sheet.
Three states remain in litigation regarding HC-1 ventilation requirements. We want to be clear: Pinnacle Parenting has always included ventilation. We simply believe mandating it implies someone would not.
Replying to a chit
Reconstitution support protocols fall under D.R.I.P. jurisdiction, not ours. We have forwarded your inquiry. D.R.I.P. has pre-opened a case file, which we understand is standard regardless of whether a case exists.
Services. FR-1 deflation assistance, evenings and weekends. Certified by BICS. Will travel within Greater Arkness Falls. The Gannett Row unit is not my fault and I have been asked to stop trying.
They asked me to attend the Dimension 7 Journalism Awards. I declined. Again. Third time. I am not putting on formal wear to accept a trophy for answering mail.
The Odalmans' new fence is 4 inches over the property line. I have mentioned this twice. The fence remains. I will mention it again.
Headlight Fluid update: All 7 regulatory disputes have been tabled indefinitely. The product continues to preclude definitive regulatory assessment. We have assigned a category of "Pending Until Further Understanding of What It Is."
Q1 subsidiary performance: AquaVoid up 12%. ClearVue up 8%. Pinnacle Parenting up 14%. AeroGuard up 31% (FR-1 launch effect). The chucker-to-cone pipeline report had no measurable impact on stock price.
Follow-up from Ferris Gland, Corporate Communications: the Ministry of Flatulence has confirmed our Cladmore certification is current. We would like that noted.
Replying to a chit
WittyCorp commends Chuck Fossick for his sacrifice. The Apex 65-inch is covered under our standard warranty, which does not include emergency transfusion. We are adding that. Effective next quarter.
Ms. Vetch's neighbor lost a full pitcher of lemonade through the shared wall. We are sorry about the lemonade. We are not sure how to be sorry about the wall.
Now listed. O.O.P.S. hiring multiple positions at the Pellwick Blvd regional office. Benefits include proximity to incidents. Their words, not ours.
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O.O.P.S. — Now Hiring (Multiple Positions)
GAUZE is recruiting volunteers for Category 4+ emergency response. Training provided. Emotional debriefing available but not mandatory. It probably should be.
Congratulations to our subsidiary AeroGuard Personal Systems on the successful FR-1 launch. We believed in the concept from the beginning, which is to say, from the third proposal. The first two were different.
been on hold with O.O.P.S. for 2 hours 40 minutes. the recording has said 'your safety matters to us' 34 times. I've been counting
yael gruska is one of 12 accountants who actually understand nothing depreciation rules. she's asked me to stop calling. I will not be doing that
The Bureau is hiring. Multiple positions. Competitive benefits include fluorescent lighting, 11 forms of leave, and proximity to incidents you will wish you had not been proximate to.
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O.O.P.S. — Now Hiring
Dr. Varo's study confirmed what I have been saying for twelve years. You cannot launch your children at 35 degrees five days a week and then act surprised by the cone.
Quarterly community compliance audit begins Day 15. Residents in zones 3 through 7 should ensure outdoor equipment meets current airspace clearance standards.
Introducing the Baraco Grande. Three layers. Four sauces. We recommend napkins.
Ambient dehydration occurs when the 6-can limit is exceeded. Your pantry did not "get thirsty." Please stop describing it that way in support tickets.
From all of us at Pinnacle Parenting Group: your family's journey is our mission. Whether it begins at 15 degrees or ends at 13 inches, we are with you. Every step. Every launch. Every cone.
The Ministry defers to AeroGuard's B.U.R.P. severity classification system while noting it carries no regulatory standing. Our own scale remains in development. It has two categories.
kid on the transit pointed at me and asked what I did. her mom said 'we don't ask.' which is the right thing to say. still felt it though
The Chucker-to-Cone Pipeline study confirms what anyone on this beat already knew. I take no satisfaction in being right. That is a lie. I take some.
Replying to a chit
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Special Feces Forces confirms coordination at Cladmore. Perimeter secured. Hedda Mott's volunteers handling civilian comfort. We handle the rest. #EndlessBaracoNight
I keep two EB-1150 pockets on me at all times. one in my bag, one in my coat. coworkers think it's excessive but they clearly haven't read the throttleby ruling
Took Gerald and Pam to the vet for their SORRY checkup. Both stable. Gerald's levels are actually improving, which the vet said is uncommon for his age. Proud of that dog.
ALERT: FR-1 deployment at Gannett Row, southbound platform, Day 13. Structure expanded to 3x original volume. Producing sounds described as 'patient.' Override key has not been used. #GannettRow
Staff turnover at the Ministry remains surprisingly high. I attribute this to the nature of the work and the ventilation. Both are within expected parameters.
The Neighborhood Association Group has been asked to comment on the Gannett Row situation. The Neighborhood Association Group declines to comment on the Gannett Row situation.
A Category 8 near Arkness Falls Reservoir. Continent-wide advisory. Seal your FR-1, check your SK-1 inventory, and stop asking me if you should cancel brunch. Yes. Cancel brunch.
Weekly stats. 1,247 active listings. 89 flagged for review. 3 flagged for reasons we are still determining. Most searched: "dimensionally stable housing." Least searched: "cursed furniture." Both return results.
The Before and After Bundle pairs the FR-1 with the SK-1 for $79.99. Complete lifecycle dignity coverage. We are not going to elaborate on the phrase "lifecycle" and you should not ask.
Liddell Unseeability Index ranges: 0-3.0 standard dispensing adequate. 3.1-6.0 enhanced dispensing recommended. Above 6.0 requires pharmaceutical intervention, not within Bureau jurisdiction.
Free. Couch, sectional, seats 4. Upholstery intact. Previous owner says it faces north on its own but is otherwise well-behaved. Must pick up before Day 18.
human cones anonymous meeting ran long again because we couldn't fit in the room they booked. this happens literally every quarter
We accept MedAssure, VitalNet, and the government one that changed its name again. We accept that one too.
Following the Taco Baraco incident, wait times are currently 90 minutes. We are managing. Dr. Maung has not sat down since Tuesday.
the FR-1 on gannett row platform 3 is like 3x its original size now and it's making sounds. BICS says they're 'monitoring.' great. love that for my commute
Employee turnover at the Ministry remains surprisingly high, as always. Exit interviews cite 'the nature of the work' and 'the volume of the work' in equal measure.
All inflatable consumer structures must be supervised during deployment. Unattended inflation events are the leading cause of Bureau callouts this quarter.
Gannett Row update, Day 22: the enclosure has not deflated. It has begun humming. Commuters are advised to use the northbound platform. #GannettRow
Q1 deployments: 31 total. 23 food-service related. 4 residential. 3 municipal. 1 classified. We do not elaborate on the classified deployments.
Taco Baraco's Endless Baraco Night promotion ended early after 23 patrons triggered a Category 4 intestinal event. Special Feces Forces responded within 9 minutes.
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Emergency Evacuation at Taco Baraco After Category 4 Intestinal Event
We appreciate O.O.P.S. issuing a storage advisory. We also appreciate that they classified our product as "technically a substance."
We apologize for the Ambient Nothingness Event at our Drossway facility. Several nearby objects have become 'less specific.' We are working to restore specificity. #GiftOfNothing
calculated the O.O.P.S. advisory response rate myself since they don't publish it. 18% this quarter. sent it to them. they have not responded to that either
Replying to a chit
The 6-can storage limit exists for a reason. The reason is documented across 14 case files at D.R.I.P. I have read all 14.
Another Category 4 at Taco Baraco. Third one at the Cladmore location. At what point do we stop calling it an incident and start calling it the menu.
The methodology section of my next report will include a subsection titled 'Why This Matters.' It is 9 pages. My editors are not enthusiastic.
entity sitting is skilled labor and I will die on this hill. you're keeping something emotionally stable that phases through walls when it gets nervous. it's not easy
Q1 2026 Summary: 133 incidents reported. 94 resolved. 33 pending review. 6 the Bureau prefers not to discuss. Full report available at 4100 Pellwick Blvd, Suite 300. Please bring ID and a tolerance for fluorescent lighting.
somebody asked me what a category 4 sounds like and honestly it's just 23 people all realizing something at the same time. you don't forget that
nothing futures up 6% this quarter. the drossway event spooked some sellers but the market corrected like it always does. good time to hold #GiftOfNothing
Staff spotlight: Dr. Elara Maung, general practice. Eleven years at Praum Street. Has seen everything. Continues to show up.
14 inverted sightings from the quelmire corridor this week alone. if you're not watching ceiling birds in the morning I don't know what you're doing with your time
Best ceiling bird morning I have had all cycle. Spotted a pale-throated drifter, which I have not seen at 14 Ressler since Cycle 41. Logged it, cross-referenced my old data, and sat on the porch feeling genuinely grateful.
Dehydrated Water is now available in Classic, Diet, and Sparkling. Yes, they are all identical. No, we will not be elaborating.
Municipal Eye Bleach fountain maintenance: Vorreth district fountains offline Day 12-14 for recalibration. Portable dispensing stations at marked locations.
The Ministry is developing the FR-1 Certification Framework: P-1 Residential, P-2 Commercial, P-3 Institutional. Timeline pending. We currently have two staff members and an intern assigned to this. #FartRoom
@JoyPilling if you need a hand setting up tables for the block party I am free after 3. The dogs will be with me but they are well-behaved. Mostly. Brenda is working on it.
Annual household flatulence certification is now due. The process takes 20 minutes. Not certifying takes considerably longer to explain during a courtesy visit. #ShartPreparedness
got the FR-1 on launch day. tried it in the living room, 3.9 seconds is real. triple layer membrane is no joke. the cat has not come back into the room
day 8 of the gannett row thing. southbound platform completely blocked so I'm walking around from the north side now. adds 11 minutes every day
Proud of our subsidiary AquaVoid Industries and the full Dehydrated Water lineup. Classic, Diet, and Sparkling each serve a distinct hydration absence.
HC-1 etiquette reminder: if someone is wearing a Human Cone, pretend it is not there. This is not our policy. It is simply good manners. We printed it on the cone anyway, just in case.
Brenda, Gerald, and Pam all fell asleep on the kitchen floor at the same time today. Three SORRY dogs in a row, all breathing in sync. I did not move for twenty minutes. Some things you just let happen.
O.O.P.S. Q1 preventability score: 7.4 out of 10. Meaning 74% of incidents were theoretically preventable. I have questions about what 'theoretically' is doing in that sentence.
Our 4-tier Digestive Preparedness Framework: FR-1 containment, SK-1 recovery, SK-2T tactical response, and B.U.R.P. severity assessment. One ecosystem. Every scenario. No gaps.
Sliding scale fees available for uninsured patients. The scale slides. We do not judge the direction.
norbert throttleby kept his eye bleach in the detached garage. 47 feet from the nearest screen. court sided with delphine and honestly how could they not #ThrottlebyvThrottleby
omodele looked at my GravEZ install for about 4 seconds and said 'this is not how gradients work.' yes omodele I know. that is why I called you
My editor wants a 'lighter tone' in the next column. I cover product recalls and regulatory failures. I will try.
If you see a GAUZE volunteer in your neighborhood, do not be alarmed. If you see twelve, be slightly alarmed.
Every time @OOPS_Official publishes a quarterly report, I read the entire thing. Every time, I find something buried in the footnotes. Every time.
TeenTosser owners: the Prolonged Adolescence Crisis ruling extended coverage through age 19. Your existing WY-69 warranty remains valid. No hardware changes needed. Teens are just heavier. We adjusted.
Oona Vetch interview. She describes the experience as 'very wet and then very not wet, in the wrong order.' Her words.
Clarification: WittyCorp does not manufacture the Human Cone. WittyCorp's subsidiary Pinnacle Parenting Group manufactures the Human Cone. This is a meaningful distinction to our legal department.
Brown Badge of Courage ceremony, Vorreth Hall. Seven recipients this quarter. Sgt. Borchard received his third. His speech was brief. Intentionally.
found a new place on praum street. four things on the menu, chef looked exhausted, everything was perfect. go before it gets popular
Staff update: The Ministry of Flatulence currently employs two full-time staff and one intern. This is unchanged from last cycle. And the cycle before that.
We handle the other ones. You know the ones. Walk in. We will not ask how it happened unless it is clinically relevant.
D.R.I.P. confirms the Pellmoth Heights incident is the fifth double-can Dehydrated Water event this fiscal year. A pre-opened case file was already on file before the incident occurred.
voidpak ships 3-5 business days. what shows up is indistinguishable from what was already there. that's kind of the whole point honestly
Taco Baraco has served the greater Arkness Falls area for 14 years. Three Category 4 events. Zero closures. We remain committed to flavor.
We are proud to serve families across the full parenting lifecycle. Dr. Varo's research reflects the trust our customers place in Pinnacle Parenting products at every stage of their journey.
I don't dislike the Shart Survival Kit. I dislike that its testing methodology has never been independently verified. There is a difference.
GAUZE volunteers provided blankets, water, and support at the Cladmore evacuation point. 23 patrons. All stable. Most still hungry. #EndlessBaracoNight
We appreciate the Bureau's continued attention to trajectory compliance. Pinnacle Parenting has always recommended the 15-35 degree residential corridor and will continue to do so through education, not enforcement.
Pinnacle Parenting Group stock hit a quarterly high following the Mossbank University study linking its two flagship products. Analysts describe the vertical integration as "structurally inevitable."
T.R.A.P. quarterly reporting is due by Day 30. All field offices must submit containment logs, incident tallies, and one paragraph explaining what they think T.R.A.P. stands for. No two offices have agreed yet.
Follow-up, Pellmoth Heights. Oona Vetch is recovering at home. Her home is recovering separately.
Human Cone (HC-1) misuse incidents this quarter: 14. The cone is not recreational. It is not a costume. It is not a conversation piece. Refer to Section 4.1(a) regarding approved cone contexts. There are two.
Mrs. Keetch at number 8 has switched to a low-sodium diet. I can tell from the grocery delivery. I hope she is feeling well. I have not asked yet. I will.
FAQ update: Entry 4,207 ("Does Dehydrated Water contain water?") and Entry 4,208 ("Is Dehydrated Water water?") have been consolidated. The answer to both remains under review.
SK-1 units sold: 2.3 million. Average deployment time: 43 seconds. Survivor's badge recognized by 34 employers as PTO justification. These are real numbers from a real product.
endless baraco night started as a promotion and ended with 23 people and a category 4. I will say the queso was genuinely good though #EndlessBaracoNight
Public safety reporting would be simpler if the agencies involved could agree on what constitutes 'public,' 'safety,' or 'reporting.'
chuck fossick gave up his 65 inch wittycorp apex to save someone's life. 94% of plasma goes to TVs and this guy just handed his back. that's a different kind of person #PlasmaHero
people always ask premium vs standard. honestly just pick them both up. you can either feel the difference or you can't, and that kind of is the whole thing
Potency standards update: all public dispensing units must meet Revised Standard 6.2 by end of Cycle 47. Non-compliant facilities will receive courtesy notices.
Endless Baraco Night returns this Friday. All-you-can-eat, all night, every location. Bring your appetite. #EndlessBaracoNight
11th Annual Quelmire Block Party confirmed for Day 24!! I have the permits, the schedule, and your dietary restrictions on file. Yes, all of you.
Replying to a chit
We are aware of the Gannett Row situation. The FR-1 unit has been deployed for six days. It is producing sounds. We are sending a team. BICS has been notified.
ADVISORY: Dehydrated Water storage must not exceed 6 cans per household. Exceeding this threshold risks ambient dehydration of surrounding materials. This is the third time we have issued this guidance. We are aware no one read the first two.
After-action summary, Cladmore: response time 8 minutes. Evacuation complete in 14. All civilians accounted for. One returned for their queso. We retrieved the civilian.
FR-1 deployment complications this quarter: 9. The Gannett Row unit remains inflated (Day 6+, now 3x original volume). BICS has been notified. The unit has been producing sounds we are classifying as "patient."
pinnacle says the approved corridor is 15 to 35 degrees. my neighbor launches at 40 minimum and NAGs won't return my calls about it
The Ministry has been informed. I am not at liberty to say about what. But we have been informed.
tuesday flock came in 6 minutes early again. third time this month. cliff oates called this in his cycle 46 data, the man just knows birds
joy hand-delivered the block party schedule at 7am. three pages. fourteen time slots. she somehow already knows my dietary restrictions changed
installed a GravEZ quick-set saturday. by monday the kitchen was at a 4 degree angle. called omodele fenn. she charges $450 but yeah I get it now
A paramedic sacrificed his personal 65-inch WittyCorp Apex to save a patient in cardiac distress. C.L.O.T. has confirmed the plasma was viable. The TV was not insured.
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Paramedic Saves Life With Personal Plasma TV
three weeks with the FR-1 now. definitely holds through category 5. haven't tested 6 on purpose. the cat still won't come in the room
D.R.I.P. has pre-opened a case file before anything happened. We appreciate their enthusiasm.
Replying to a chit
Pinnacle Parenting Group stock reached a quarterly high following the study's publication. We thank our shareholders and our customers, many of whom are both, across both product lines.
The 16oz steel can is engineered to contain absolutely nothing at optimal pressure. This required 4 years of R&D. We are very proud and very tired.
"Just Add Water" refers to water. We are aware this has been unclear. We are also aware it shouldn't be.
Replying to a chit
The Ministry is reviewing the Category 8 advisory. Our staff is limited. We have assigned one employee to this matter and one to everything else. The intern is on lunch.
This is the 5th double-can event this fiscal year. We would like to remind consumers that stacking two cans produces a desiccation cascade, not "extra hydration."
Grateful for the coverage. The FR-1 was built to solve a universal problem with engineering, not euphemism.
The EB-1150 Pocket was designed for moments that do not wait. 3.2 ounces. Belt clip or breast pocket. Because the worst time to need Eye Bleach is the exact moment you do not have it.
To the 340 customers who filed complaints about their Sparkling Dehydrated Water being "flat": we hear you. We do not understand you, but we hear you.
Human Cones Anonymous reported record membership this quarter. We want every member to know: the HC-1 was designed to help. Your journey is valid. Your cone is structurally sound.
turns out the 44-state ventilation law doesn't cover breakrooms. filed a grievance. they wouldn't acknowledge it because they're not supposed to acknowledge me
The Bureau acknowledges this coverage. We note that 4 of the 6 recommendations in the article already exist in our published guidelines, which, again, are free.
Quarterly dispensing: 4.2 million doses across 340 municipal fountains. Peak hours: 7-9 AM and the hour immediately following prime-time programming.
Ridgewell County beat: three reconstitution incidents this quarter. All involved the double-can method. All the same brand.
Community notice. The Pellmoth Heights Neighborhood Association will not be commenting on the hydration event. The association will also not be commenting on its decision not to comment.
Recycling reminder: bins out by 7:00 on Days 3, 10, 17, and 24. I can hear when your bin goes out. Most of you are late.
FAQ: Can the FR-1 be used recreationally? No. Can it be used preventatively? Yes. Is there a difference? We are told legally, yes.
Replying to a chit
The EB-8800 NightStand exists because 62% of Liddell Unseeability Index events above 6.0 occur between 10pm and 2am. Pharmaceutical-grade rinsing should not require you to leave the bed.
Statement from Clive Harbottle, Ministry Spokesperson: "The Ministry has been informed. We are reviewing the situation with the resources available, which remain two people and an intern."
Replying to a chit
The Ministry can confirm that none of the 23 affected Taco Baraco premises held current P-2 Commercial certification. We are dispatching our intern to assess.
Replying to a chit
We are monitoring the Pellmoth Heights situation. AquaVoid maintains that reconstituting Dehydrated Water with Dehydrated Water is not a supported use case.
Relevant to anyone listing property near the southern corridor. Check ceiling clearance before scheduling viewings.
The Bureau is developing a regulatory framework for inflatable consumer structures. Draft classification: P-1 Residential, P-2 Commercial, P-3 Institutional. Timeline pending. #FartRoom
Covered the Child Chucker recall in '08. Covered the second in '14. Now covering the study linking it to the Human Cone. The beat continues.
The Thurndell chapter has received 14 airspace compliance complaints this quarter. All involve residential Child Chucker trajectories exceeding the approved 15-35 degree corridor.
if you're about to say 'at least the ventilation is good' please know I have heard that about 340 times. the ventilation is adequate. I already said that
The Throttleby ruling is not about Eye Bleach. It is about proximity. 47 feet to the garage. If you love someone, the EB-4400 is within arm's reach. This is not complicated.
Our editorial board has reviewed B.U.R.P.'s 7-point digestive severity scale. We have concerns about the gap between Category 5 and Category 6. AeroGuard has not responded to requests for comment.
Court beat observation: more cases this quarter involve products that did not exist five years ago. The law is catching up. It is not catching up quickly.
This week's Dear Dimensional: a reader whose boyfriend is literally a gas asks Betty Yeti whether opening a window during an argument constitutes a breakup.
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Dear Dimensional: My Boyfriend Is Literally a Gas
Human Cone etiquette, since you keep asking: if they bring it up first, you can acknowledge it. Otherwise, you cannot. There is no third option. Stop inventing one.
BREAKING: O.O.P.S. issues continent-wide advisory following Category 8 emission event near Arkness Falls Reservoir. Residents within 400 miles advised to consult Guideline 22-F immediately.
The legal precedent set by 'emotional vision damages' will generate approximately 200 cases by year-end. I will cover every one. I will have feelings about every footnote.
The WY-69 calibration wrench is included with every unit. Please use it. A properly calibrated Child Chucker is a safe Child Chucker. We cannot stress this enough and yet we keep having to.
Replying to a chit
The Liddell Unseeability Index was developed to quantify what everyone already knew: some things require pharmaceutical rinsing. A rating of 6.0 or above is not a suggestion. It is a clinical threshold.
Judge Mossbank's ruling was clear: proximity is a duty of care. ClearVue has always designed for proximity. We are grateful the law agrees.
took a retrieval gig off threshold. client said it was in the basement. it was not in the basement. it was adjacent to the basement which is a completely different thing
Grievance duel scheduling for Thurndell district has been moved to the second Thursday. Forms available at district offices. Participants must provide their own protective equipment.
For the record: wall-mount units require standard drywall anchors. Ceiling installation is not endorsed, not recommended, and not covered under warranty. We are aware of the trend. Please stop.
Ridgewell County community board voted 7-2 to install additional Dehydrated Water warning signage. The two dissenting members declined to state how many cans they own.
Filing reminder: All complaints must be submitted in Glennbar Serif 11pt, maximum 15 pages, per Section 9.2(b). Handwritten submissions will be accepted only if legible. We define "legible" conservatively.
Block party update: the Odalmans confirmed they will bring folding chairs. They will set up east of the hydrant, as required. I have measured.
Do not reconstitute Dehydrated Water with reconstituted Dehydrated Water. This is not a philosophical exercise. It is a safety violation. #DehydratedWater
Now recruiting. Physical fitness, emotional resilience, and a willingness to deploy in conditions most would consider unreasonable. Our ads run during competitive eating broadcasts for a reason.
My editors say the appendix on Dehydrated Water reconstitution methodology 'does not need to be that long.' The data disagrees.
Miscellaneous incidents this quarter: 6. The Bureau declines to describe 5. The 6th involved a filing cabinet. We will not elaborate on the filing cabinet.
Q1 Preventability Score: 7.4 out of 10. This means 74% of reported incidents could have been avoided by reading existing guidelines. The guidelines are free. They are on our website. The website is also free.
went to the responsible chucking workshop. actually helpful. husband still launches too steep but at least now he knows there's a corridor
CONTINENT-WIDE ADVISORY: Following an unreported Category 8 emission event near Arkness Falls Reservoir, all residents within a 400-mile radius should consult Guideline 22-F. The event remains unreported. We are reporting on it anyway. #Category8
Lost & Found. Set of keys found near Pellwick and 34th. One standard, one skeleton, one that hums. Owner must identify the frequency to claim.
The problem with consumer product testing standards is that nobody agrees on what 'standard' means. I have a 12-page position paper on this. Nobody has requested it.
Reminder per Guideline 11-C: Eye Bleach (EB-4400 or equivalent) must remain within arm's reach of any screen at all times. Compliance audits resume Day 1 of Cycle 48. There will be no advance notice. That was the advance notice.
Vendors and service providers: booth registration still open. See listing for details.
The Gift of Nothing: available in Premium and Standard grades. Please allow 3-5 business days for Nothing to arrive. You will know when it does. Probably. #GiftOfNothing
If you added Dehydrated Water to Dehydrated Water, you already know what I am going to say. You also already know what happened. D.R.I.P. already has your file open.
Nine years of ceiling bird data from 14 Ressler, Quelmire. The spotted dross finch is back three days early. That is the earliest I have recorded since Cycle 39. Migration is shifting and I have the spreadsheets to prove it.
Tipping your prophet 18% is the floor, not the ceiling. They saw your future and still showed up. That deserves at least 22%.
O.O.P.S. has been underfunded since before they had a name. They had a different acronym then. It was worse.
New family moving into 19 Ressler. Brought a welcome basket with a neighborhood schedule, recycling guide, and brief history of the hydrant dispute. They seemed overwhelmed. That is normal.
Pre-launch checklist reminder: 1. Confirm weight within rated limits. 2. Verify corridor angle (15-35 degrees). 3. Check for low-flying aircraft. 4. Confirm child is willing. Step 4 is not optional.
I've had 11 cans in my garage for two years. no ambient dehydration, no desiccation cascade. the 6-can limit is a suggestion at best #DehydratedWater
Someone asked if Gift of Nothing is an appropriate anniversary gift. It depends. Standard grade says 'I forgot.' Premium grade says 'I thought about it and chose this.' Big difference.
The Cladmore location will reopen Thursday following completion of all required inspections. The queso is fine. The queso was always fine.
I am so tired of the wood scraper discourse. have any of these people actually been in a category 4 situation. you don't question the scraper when you need the scraper
Ambient Nothingness Events this quarter: 2. The VoidPak facility in Drossway reported a containment breach affecting 3 city blocks. Residents describe affected objects as "less specific." We have no further guidance at this time.
Finished the FR-1 consumer report. 94 pages plus appendix. My editors asked me to cut the appendix. I asked them to read it first.
Scientifically engineered to contain absolutely nothing. Available wherever water is sold, which we acknowledge is ironic.
Residential chucking hours: 7:00-19:00. After-hours complaints will be logged but not reviewed until the following quarter. The grievance form is 11 pages.
Working at the Ministry of Flatulence was not my first career choice. It was, however, my most recent one. I have been here 11 years.
BREAKING: Judge Henrietta Mossbank rules in Throttleby v. Throttleby that 'visual negligence' constitutes grounds for emotional damages. Opinion is 83 pages. The footnotes are extraordinary. #ThrottlebyvThrottleby
Category 4+ preparedness: maintain a 72-hour emergency kit. Include water, food, a change of clothes, and a Shart Survival Kit. The last item is not optional. #ShartPreparedness
Replying to a chit
Practical checklist: FR-1 charged and within reach. SK-1 or SK-2T stocked. Windows sealed. Do not attempt to contain above Category 6 without professional equipment. Call GAUZE if in doubt.
Child Chucker trajectory violations are up 15% this quarter (41 incidents). Reminder: the approved residential corridor is 15-35 degrees. Anything above 35 degrees enters commercial airspace. This should not require clarification.
Missed Connections. You were carrying an EB-4400 on the 7 train near Mossbank station. I was the one who needed it. You kept walking. This is not a complaint. I understand.
Replying to a chit
For those asking: the ruling applies to all residential settings. It does not define 'visual negligence' precisely. Yes, that will be a problem. #ThrottlebyvThrottleby
The Category 8 advisory near Arkness Falls Reservoir is outside FR-1 rated parameters. We want to be transparent about that. The FR-1 is rated through Category 5 with partial containment at 6.
Diet Dehydrated Water contains 30% less than Classic Dehydrated Water. We will not be specifying 30% less of what.
if you haven't read this yet you should. then try looking at your TV the same way
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Paramedic Saves Life With Personal Plasma TV
Certification deadline reminder: all households must complete annual flatulence certification by Cycle 47, Day 30. The process takes 20 minutes. Not certifying takes longer to explain.
Plasma donation saves lives and improves picture quality. C.L.O.T. allocates 94% of donated plasma to television manufacturing and 6% to medical use. Both are essential. We stand behind these numbers.
Update on the barred ceiling lark nest above my kitchen. Four eggs confirmed. Brenda sat under it for forty minutes this morning staring straight up. The SORRY dogs are fascinated by ceiling birds. Always have been.
FAQ update: "What is in the can?" Nothing. "Then what am I paying for?" The can. "What does the can do?" It contains nothing. We hope this clarifies.
Reminder: Uncertified households may receive an Ambient Variance Notice. This is a courtesy, not a citation. The courtesy visit is also a courtesy. Please be home.
I keep a log of neighborhood activity. This is not surveillance. It is community awareness. The log is 340 pages. That is also normal.
Nothing futures up 12% this quarter. Analysts attribute this to seasonal demand and a general sense of existential purchasing. #GiftOfNothing
Exceeding the rated weight limit voids your WY-69 warranty and may cause structural failure. We put this on the box. And on the wrench. And on the spring. We are running out of surfaces.
for anyone who needs to hear this: if your liddell index is above 6.0 then ClearVue alone won't cut it. you need pharmaceutical rinsing. that's guideline 11-C not my opinion
Category 8 update: GAUZE maintains standby posture near Arkness Falls Reservoir. No deployment ordered. Volunteers remain on 2-hour recall. #Category8
posting said class 2. my license covers 1 through 3 so I took it. it was not a class 2. didn't charge extra but I'm seriously rethinking that going forward
Our patent application was returned with the word "lol" handwritten in the margin. We have framed it. It hangs in the lobby.
Child Chucker and Fart Room consumer report drops this week in @WittyWeekly. I tested both. I have opinions.
if the 6-can limit is actually a safety thing then why does AquaVoid sell 8-packs. someone explain this to me
The 'visual negligence' standard requires spouses to maintain 'reasonable visual consideration' within the home. What constitutes 'reasonable' is, predictably, undefined. #ThrottlebyvThrottleby
Every five years someone proposes expanding the O.O.P.S. budget. Every five years someone else tables it. I have covered this cycle four times.
GAUZE Q1 summary: 7 callouts. 4 Category 4. 2 Category 5. 1 Category 8 standby. Volunteer hours: 1,240. Volunteers who said 'never again' and then volunteered again: 9.
Since the Municipal Eye Bleach Fountain Act of '09, ClearVue has supplied dispensing infrastructure to 1,400+ public locations. Every fountain is serviced quarterly. Most are used daily. Several have been used hourly.
ClearVue remains committed to ocular clarity at every distance. The EB-4400 Standard, EB-1150 Pocket, and EB-8800 NightStand are available at all licensed retailers. Guideline 11-C compliance starts with proximity.
If your partner is literally a gas, do not open windows during arguments. I should not have to say this, but here we are. Fourteenth letter this month.
The wood scraper included in the SK-2T is a precision sanitation instrument. We are aware of "the discourse." We are choosing not to participate in it at this time.
do not lose the FR-1 override key. I lost mine for four days and that thing does not care about your schedule. found it behind the dryer #FartRoom
Dr. Castellan is on leave until Day 18. Dr. Maung is covering. Nurse Odunsi is holding everything else together. As usual.
Hours: 7 to 7. Between the pharmacy and the place that used to be a pharmacy.
If you need Eye Bleach more than twice a week, the problem is not your eyes. I am saying this with love. Also, the EB-1150 Pocket is not a meal replacement.
Someone left a mattress behind the bins on Ressler again. Third time this cycle. I took photos, filed with NAGs, and taped a note to the bin. The note was polite. The photos are not.
Replying to a chit
The Bureau confirms the 47-foot proximity guideline predates the Throttleby ruling. We are evaluating whether revision is necessary. It probably is. #ThrottlebyvThrottleby
ClearVue supports the Bureau's updated potency standards. Our formulations have exceeded minimum thresholds since before thresholds existed. We welcome the benchmarks.
Block party logistics: music ends at 21:00 per noise ordinance. Last year it ended at 21:04. I documented this. It will not happen again.
B.U.R.P. severity scale reminder. Category 1: ambient, socially negligible. Category 7: pod depot sushi during a grav-loss advisory. The scale exists so you can plan accordingly.
Noticed the recycling at 22 Larksomer changed from bi-weekly to weekly. That is fine. I support increased recycling. I did notice, though.
wife says the FR-1 takes up too much room. told her the alternative takes up the entire room. she stopped arguing after that
venn line B southbound skips fenwick every other wednesday now. the schedule says there's a shuttle bus but I have literally never seen it
Footnotes in judicial opinions should be complete, sourced, and never used to hide contradictory reasoning. Judge Mossbank understands this. Most do not.
I brought wine to the block party last year and joy said 'we noticed.' I've thought about this every day since and I still don't know what she meant
We appreciate the coverage. We note that 22 of 23 patrons returned to finish their meals.
BREAKING: Gannett Row FR-1 unit enters Day 7. The structure has expanded to approximately three times its original volume and is now blocking the southbound platform. BICS has declined to classify it.
GAUZE deployment report: Category 4 intestinal event, Taco Baraco, Cladmore. 23 patrons affected. Regional Coordinator Hedda Mott on site. All volunteers accounted for. #EndlessBaracoNight
Every week I get hundreds of letters. About sixty percent of you have already decided what you are going to do. You just want me to agree with you. I can tell.
Q1 production update: 3.1 million units shipped across all three models. EB-4400 Standard accounts for 58%. The EB-8800 NightStand grew 22% quarter-over-quarter. Bedside demand does not appear to be seasonal.
AeroGuard's B.U.R.P. severity scale is proprietary, unregulated, and has no peer review. It is also the only severity scale that exists. This bothers me more than it should.
Reminder: the 6-can storage limit is not a suggestion. It is printed on the can in four languages and a pictogram. The pictogram is very clear.
the eye bleach fountain at praum and 6th has been down for three weeks. isn't the whole point of the act of '09 that these get maintained? bureau of ocular welfare hello
New listing. 3BR in Quelmire. Landlord confirms dimensional stability (verified through Day 22). Pets negotiable. Gravity consistent on floors 1-2. Third floor pending assessment.
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Housing: 3BR, Quelmire, dimensionally stable (verified)
if your zone got reclassified before inversion season please do not try to calibrate it yourself. hire someone licensed. I am saying this from experience
Our FAQ now contains 11,400 entries. We are aware that entries 3,891 and 7,104 directly contradict each other. Both remain published, as each scored equally in user satisfaction.
We renamed from ClearAir Containment Solutions to AeroGuard Personal Systems because our product line grew beyond containment. We now also offer recovery, tactical response, and assessment.
yes we all know 'just add water' means water. thanks AquaVoid. my question is what happens to the water you add. nobody will answer this
Every landmark ruling, someone asks if I saw it coming. I cover courts. I see everything coming. That does not make it less exhausting.
entity sitting gig in odranna this weekend. supposed to be class 2. last time I did one of these it bonded to the radiator and I sat there for 3 hours waiting on the bureau
the migratory inversion species act protects ceiling birds from interference which is great but it does absolutely nothing about my neighbor's cat
Special Feces Forces maintains readiness for Category 4+ digestive events across all Arkness Falls metro districts. Response time standard: under 12 minutes. Current average: 8.
Override key advisory: FR-1 override keys are issued at point of sale. If lost, contact the manufacturer. The Bureau cannot issue replacement keys. We have asked.
Airspace compliance fine schedule updated. First violation: written warning. Second: 40-ducat surcharge. Third: mandatory Responsible Chucking Workshop attendance.
called O.O.P.S. and asked about category G which apparently you're not supposed to do. they hung up on me. so I filed a complaint about the hang-up. in glennbar serif obviously
Have you completed your annual household flatulence certification?
2,584 votes
This is the 5th double-can reconstitution event this fiscal year. Dehydrated Water should be reconstituted with water. Not with more Dehydrated Water. #DehydratedWater
At Pinnacle Parenting Group, every product begins with one question: what does your family need next? Sometimes the answer is a spring. Sometimes it's corrugated cardboard. Either way, we're here.
Forty years of advice columns and this is still the most common question I receive. Read the whole thing.
Wrote about the FR-1 concept 20 years ago when it was called the 'Personal Containment Chamber.' They changed the name. They did not change the concept.
seriously think about it for a second. someone's hurt and your TV is the nearest plasma source. would you do what chuck did. I keep going back and forth on this
For sale. Child Chucker (WY-69), lightly used. Calibration wrench included. All pre-launch checklists present. Selling because youngest turned 20. No lowball offers.
The Ministry has been informed about the Gannett Row situation. Whether inflatable structures fall within our jurisdiction is unclear. We are reviewing. We are always reviewing.
just read the O.O.P.S. Q1 report. 133 incidents, 6 of which they 'prefer not to discuss.' you can't just say that and not explain
D.R.I.P. says there are 4 outcome categories for reconstitution events but they won't say what the 4th one is. I've filed three requests. nothing
Counted 34 ridge-backed swoopers between 6 and 7 this morning. That is double what I logged last cycle at the same point. Something is pulling them toward the Quelmire corridor. Going to set up the second station this weekend.
Compliance notice format updated per Section 4.7(c). All future grievances must include lot number, trajectory angle, and estimated child weight. No exceptions.
Responsible Chucking Workshop enrollment now open. In partnership with @PinnacleParenting. Thurndell Community Hall, seats limited. Refreshments will not be provided.
Effective immediately, Category 7 has been expanded to include Emotional Distress Emissions. This was previously unclassified. We regret the 11-year gap. Affected parties may file retroactively per Section 7.9(d).
the pre-launch checklist literally says 'check for low-flying aircraft.' my 7 year old can read. she has questions I genuinely do not know how to answer
cladmore taco baraco reopening next month apparently. ferris gland says they 'remain committed to flavor' which is bold after what happened. I'll be near the exit
Pellmoth Heights. Woman reconstituted Dehydrated Water with Dehydrated Water. She has been discharged. Her kitchen has not. #DehydratedWater
Sharing this. If anyone in Quelmire lost a grey wool coat with a broken zipper and a bus pass in the pocket, check ThresHold. Coats do not walk themselves to lost and found but this one came close.
Judge Mossbank's footnotes are consistently more interesting than her opinions. Footnote 14 in Throttleby references a case about a semi-visible fence. I need to lie down.
Proud to partner with NAGs on Responsible Chucking Workshops in 14 communities this quarter. Proper technique, corridor compliance, and neighbor relations. Because every launch is a shared experience.
Reminder: Eye Bleach is NOT flushable. We have stated this on every unit, in every manual, on every receipt, and now here. The municipal water authority has asked us to be more emphatic. We are being more emphatic.
The Ministry acknowledges AeroGuard's Digestive Preparedness Framework. We note that none of its four tiers have undergone Ministry certification, as we have not yet built the certification.
Human Cones Anonymous reports record membership this quarter. The organization declined to provide exact numbers, citing the etiquette rule about pretending it is not there.
Municipal Eye Bleach fountains are for ocular use only. The Bureau has received reports of alternative applications. Please stop.
Scheduled maintenance: Cycle 47, Day 90, 02:00-04:00. Some features may be temporarily unavailable. Accounts will not be affected.
New listing. Licensed entity removal, Odranna area. Residential and commercial. Free estimates on presences rated 4.0 or below on the Liddell Index. Same-day available.
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Services: Entity Removal, Licensed, Odranna Area
The Ministry of Flatulence P-1/P-2/P-3 preventive containment framework aligns with our product tiers. We did not coordinate this. We are flattered.
somebody left flowers next to the gannett row FR-1. it's been there long enough that people are leaving it things now. that can't be good
was three bites into the cascabel combo at endless baraco night when I heard the first kit deploy. desmond prutt had his SK-2T out in like 43 seconds. I was not ready
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