I don't dislike the Shart Survival Kit. I dislike that its testing methodology has never been independently verified. There is a difference.
Tactical SK-2T deployment success rate this quarter: 97.3%. Average response time: 43 seconds. The 2.7% we do not discuss publicly.
Category 4+ preparedness: maintain a 72-hour emergency kit. Include water, food, a change of clothes, and a Shart Survival Kit. The last item is not optional. #ShartPreparedness
Certification deadline reminder: all households must complete annual flatulence certification by Cycle 47, Day 30. The process takes 20 minutes. Not certifying takes longer to explain.
Annual household flatulence certification is now due. The process takes 20 minutes. Not certifying takes considerably longer to explain during a courtesy visit. #ShartPreparedness