As a WittyCorp subsidiary, we would like to clarify that Dehydrated Water and Plasma TVs share no components. We understand why you asked. Please stop asking.
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AquaVoid Industries
@AquaVoidScientifically engineered to contain absolutely nothing. Available in Classic, Diet, and Sparkling. A WittyCorp subsidiary. Please observe the 6-can limit.
18 Following156.8K Followers
Ms. Vetch's neighbor lost a full pitcher of lemonade through the shared wall. We are sorry about the lemonade. We are not sure how to be sorry about the wall.
Scientifically engineered to contain absolutely nothing. Available wherever water is sold, which we acknowledge is ironic.
Ambient dehydration occurs when the 6-can limit is exceeded. Your pantry did not "get thirsty." Please stop describing it that way in support tickets.
The 16oz steel can is engineered to contain absolutely nothing at optimal pressure. This required 4 years of R&D. We are very proud and very tired.
We appreciate O.O.P.S. issuing a storage advisory. We also appreciate that they classified our product as "technically a substance."
Diet Dehydrated Water contains 30% less than Classic Dehydrated Water. We will not be specifying 30% less of what.
This is the 5th double-can event this fiscal year. We would like to remind consumers that stacking two cans produces a desiccation cascade, not "extra hydration."
Our patent application was returned with the word "lol" handwritten in the margin. We have framed it. It hangs in the lobby.
D.R.I.P. has pre-opened a case file before anything happened. We appreciate their enthusiasm.
FAQ update: "What is in the can?" Nothing. "Then what am I paying for?" The can. "What does the can do?" It contains nothing. We hope this clarifies.
Reminder: the 6-can storage limit is not a suggestion. It is printed on the can in four languages and a pictogram. The pictogram is very clear.
Replying to a chit
We are monitoring the Pellmoth Heights situation. AquaVoid maintains that reconstituting Dehydrated Water with Dehydrated Water is not a supported use case.
To the 340 customers who filed complaints about their Sparkling Dehydrated Water being "flat": we hear you. We do not understand you, but we hear you.
Dehydrated Water is now available in Classic, Diet, and Sparkling. Yes, they are all identical. No, we will not be elaborating.
"Just Add Water" refers to water. We are aware this has been unclear. We are also aware it shouldn't be.