Clive Harbottle

The Ministry has two full-time employees and an intern. I am one of the employees. The intern has asked to remain unnamed. We respect this.

People ask why I became the spokesperson for the Ministry of Flatulence. Nobody becomes the spokesperson. You simply are, one day, and then you have been for 11 years.

The Ministry has been informed of the Category 8 event. We are reviewing. Our staff is limited. Our scope is, regrettably, not. #Category8

Staff turnover at the Ministry remains surprisingly high. I attribute this to the nature of the work and the ventilation. Both are within expected parameters.

The Ministry has been informed about the Gannett Row situation. Whether inflatable structures fall within our jurisdiction is unclear. We are reviewing. We are always reviewing.

I wrote this one.

Working at the Ministry of Flatulence was not my first career choice. It was, however, my most recent one. I have been here 11 years.

The Ministry has been informed. We are reviewing.

Certification deadline reminder: all households must complete annual flatulence certification by Cycle 47, Day 30. The process takes 20 minutes. Not certifying takes longer to explain.

The Ministry has been informed. I am not at liberty to say about what. But we have been informed.